if you fail to plan, its mean you plan the fail
based on that aphorism, here i try to make a planning on what will i do next years for the Glory of God and my goodness.
year in 2006.
what great :
1. having a good job
2. all of my family had believe in Jesus
what bad :
1. money management, already good, but need more attention
2. having a healthy n enternal relationship
3. ilda fail in her school (maybe because lack of attention from me and mom)
4. decrease relationship with God
7 point resolution in 2007:
1. Relationship with GOD
1.1 having deeper relationship with God, increase daily devotion, never stop again
1.2 read bible in 1 year (yes, God please help me, at)
2. relationship with family
2.1 getting closer with mom, ilda, grandma.. giving more attention on what they need
2.2 help ilda on her school
2.3 searching someone to have a serious n heavenly relationship
3. relationship with other
3.1 more involve in children n youth ministry
3.2 more attention on my "kids" At sunday school
4.finacial
4.1 saving Rp.200.000-600.000 per month
4.2 still pay the debt
5. developt intelectualy
5.1 post degree not in this year
6. health
6.1 go to gym, go six pack :D
7. career
7.1 ask higher salary
7.2 find a better job, with better position and better salary hehe
7.3 work harder, more seriously
here is my resolution 2007, i must work it until finish
Monday, December 25, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Fatherless Generation
note : this post i present to every son whose have the same situation with me. an fatherless generation. even maybe we have a father in flesh but never have them as the real father. but this is not a reason for us to take an unresponsible act. we are what we choose to be, not by the situation on it. CHOOSE the RIGHT
i was born on sunday september 7th 1980. my father name is Hasan, my mother name is Sarah (Gouw Han Nio). my mother is the 3rd wife, but she never know it, not until i was born, so they divorce whan i was a baby. i trully never know my father. what he look like. my grandma said that i very much like him. and unfortunately i inherit his bad habbit. but i always pray that this curse to be broken by the name of Christ.
couple year after, my mom married again with and Army, Iswandi. this is the father i know. according to my mom stories, when i was a child, he so good to me, that makes mom want to marry him. but i feel dad, is a type of un care person, he never care for me ( he neither good, nor bad, jut uncare) but i think uncare = he never realy love me. his kindness for me in earlier when i was a child is artificial. i inherit this characteristic too, i become uncare person, "cueK' in Indonesian language.
Iswandi is very not type of a father, he never care about family. He always think about him self, even to his doughter ilda (my sister, diferent father). he drink alot, almost everyday. couple time he go with a prostitute. he also have an affair with other woman in central java and have a doughter. that hurt us (mom & i) much. but i get a lesson, that disroyalty destroy a family. i promise to my self, when i have a family, i shall swore to be faithfull till dead separate us.
he never teach me about anything, he never be with me when i need him. i never felt father's love. i only know mother' love, even she love dad more than me. i already adult now, ready to built a family. but i never know how to be a father, coz i never see a father figure in my family before.
in december 2004, he died, becaouse diabetic and kidney disorder after just a 1 month sickness. maybe because he drunk alot in the past. but he left a very much debt. fisrtly when he try to be intermediary in a car sale, in reality it was a stolen car, so my dad must pay about Rp. 25.000.000 (almost 3000 USD) or he 'll go to jail. the second one is when he get sick, hospital fee, and funeral in Padang it cost nearly Rp. 20.000.000 (over 2000 USD). so he left us with a very much debt. we must sold everything we have to pay that debt, gold, celular phone and onther, bust still not enaough. and until now i must pay the debt, few by few, i dont know when it could be PAID. i hate him alot of it. its seem i'll never forgive him.
its oke if he never love me. but why i must pay all the debt? i have a dream to, i want to buy a house, a vehicle, married and built a family. but how come that be if i must pay that much debt? God, please give me a heart to forgive each other
i thanks to God, HE put me in the right way. i know Christ since i was young, i love go to church. Jesus in my real Father. He always been there for me. I told HIM everything. my joy n my tears, He know anything. i feel the Father's Heart in Him. He love me so much, He proud just as i'm. and so do i. friend, i want to share u, if u in the same situation with me, maybe your father to busy, or u having a problem with him, go to JESUS, He's a superdad, best friend, wonderfull listener and a Great helper.
i was born on sunday september 7th 1980. my father name is Hasan, my mother name is Sarah (Gouw Han Nio). my mother is the 3rd wife, but she never know it, not until i was born, so they divorce whan i was a baby. i trully never know my father. what he look like. my grandma said that i very much like him. and unfortunately i inherit his bad habbit. but i always pray that this curse to be broken by the name of Christ.
couple year after, my mom married again with and Army, Iswandi. this is the father i know. according to my mom stories, when i was a child, he so good to me, that makes mom want to marry him. but i feel dad, is a type of un care person, he never care for me ( he neither good, nor bad, jut uncare) but i think uncare = he never realy love me. his kindness for me in earlier when i was a child is artificial. i inherit this characteristic too, i become uncare person, "cueK' in Indonesian language.
Iswandi is very not type of a father, he never care about family. He always think about him self, even to his doughter ilda (my sister, diferent father). he drink alot, almost everyday. couple time he go with a prostitute. he also have an affair with other woman in central java and have a doughter. that hurt us (mom & i) much. but i get a lesson, that disroyalty destroy a family. i promise to my self, when i have a family, i shall swore to be faithfull till dead separate us.
he never teach me about anything, he never be with me when i need him. i never felt father's love. i only know mother' love, even she love dad more than me. i already adult now, ready to built a family. but i never know how to be a father, coz i never see a father figure in my family before.
in december 2004, he died, becaouse diabetic and kidney disorder after just a 1 month sickness. maybe because he drunk alot in the past. but he left a very much debt. fisrtly when he try to be intermediary in a car sale, in reality it was a stolen car, so my dad must pay about Rp. 25.000.000 (almost 3000 USD) or he 'll go to jail. the second one is when he get sick, hospital fee, and funeral in Padang it cost nearly Rp. 20.000.000 (over 2000 USD). so he left us with a very much debt. we must sold everything we have to pay that debt, gold, celular phone and onther, bust still not enaough. and until now i must pay the debt, few by few, i dont know when it could be PAID. i hate him alot of it. its seem i'll never forgive him.
its oke if he never love me. but why i must pay all the debt? i have a dream to, i want to buy a house, a vehicle, married and built a family. but how come that be if i must pay that much debt? God, please give me a heart to forgive each other
i thanks to God, HE put me in the right way. i know Christ since i was young, i love go to church. Jesus in my real Father. He always been there for me. I told HIM everything. my joy n my tears, He know anything. i feel the Father's Heart in Him. He love me so much, He proud just as i'm. and so do i. friend, i want to share u, if u in the same situation with me, maybe your father to busy, or u having a problem with him, go to JESUS, He's a superdad, best friend, wonderfull listener and a Great helper.
Saturday, December 16, 2006
my weakness
oh i dont know
this is my real weakness,
1. unable to makeup my mind
i cant choose at all, example, when a need a clotch or watch, i so confuse when i see a lot off type and color of them, so i prefer to ask my friend to choose it for me. things that i buy my self mostly what i'm aim for, so i dont need to choose them.
sometimes i want to choose for my self, but never hv enough willing to.
and now i have many girls around me, and unable to choose one of them to be my girlfriend.
2. unable to hear someone cryin
this ini my second weakness, my heart is so tender, i cant so hear cryin from the one i love, example my girlfriend, mother, sister, and other. so when they cry, i hv lost my convictions and follow what they want.
3. incostistency
i never been constisten, sometimes on fire, in the other time i become so lazy. i'm moody type person
4. unpatient
i dont know, maybe because i think queue is not a typical modern behavior, i'm so hate about being queue, wating and traffic jam. i do everything as fast as posible.
oohh
how can i overcome this weakness?
this is my real weakness,
1. unable to makeup my mind
i cant choose at all, example, when a need a clotch or watch, i so confuse when i see a lot off type and color of them, so i prefer to ask my friend to choose it for me. things that i buy my self mostly what i'm aim for, so i dont need to choose them.
sometimes i want to choose for my self, but never hv enough willing to.
and now i have many girls around me, and unable to choose one of them to be my girlfriend.
2. unable to hear someone cryin
this ini my second weakness, my heart is so tender, i cant so hear cryin from the one i love, example my girlfriend, mother, sister, and other. so when they cry, i hv lost my convictions and follow what they want.
3. incostistency
i never been constisten, sometimes on fire, in the other time i become so lazy. i'm moody type person
4. unpatient
i dont know, maybe because i think queue is not a typical modern behavior, i'm so hate about being queue, wating and traffic jam. i do everything as fast as posible.
oohh
how can i overcome this weakness?
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
complexity
well
i started to write my diary, i dunno its allready to late or not, but better late than never.
someone say " try to write a diary, so you can see your life journey"
i deliberate in blogspot rather than friendsterblog, so my friend cant access it (its quiet secret hahaha, i maybe will be shame if one of my friend read my diary, cozz i will totatly put this heart on this web)
lets begin
this day, i started work again, after my trip to Jambi. yerterday i was thinking how this a bore life, just do the samething again and again
almost every weekend going to airport, sometimes in erly morning ( i hate wake up early inthe morning), sitting and just waiting in boarding room, go to hotel, and these circumstance spin like never end
i was so bored
sunday (03des06) i the plane jkt to Djb i see a sick woman, lay down on a bed with and oxygen, i want to pray for her, but not have enough courage.
in the thuesday i comeback to the office, start to input testimony letter, ohh no.. many of them had a terible hand writing, (karma rules, coz i have a terible hand writing too) so now i can feel the same feeling with my teacher when chek my exam.
in the afternoon i had a headache, joger said "give thanks when u have a headache, its mean u still have a head hahaha"
quote for today
Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing." ---Fuji TV (1 litre tears)
cu
i started to write my diary, i dunno its allready to late or not, but better late than never.
someone say " try to write a diary, so you can see your life journey"
i deliberate in blogspot rather than friendsterblog, so my friend cant access it (its quiet secret hahaha, i maybe will be shame if one of my friend read my diary, cozz i will totatly put this heart on this web)
lets begin
this day, i started work again, after my trip to Jambi. yerterday i was thinking how this a bore life, just do the samething again and again
almost every weekend going to airport, sometimes in erly morning ( i hate wake up early inthe morning), sitting and just waiting in boarding room, go to hotel, and these circumstance spin like never end
i was so bored
sunday (03des06) i the plane jkt to Djb i see a sick woman, lay down on a bed with and oxygen, i want to pray for her, but not have enough courage.
in the thuesday i comeback to the office, start to input testimony letter, ohh no.. many of them had a terible hand writing, (karma rules, coz i have a terible hand writing too) so now i can feel the same feeling with my teacher when chek my exam.
in the afternoon i had a headache, joger said "give thanks when u have a headache, its mean u still have a head hahaha"
quote for today
Just being alive is such a lovely and wonderful thing." ---Fuji TV (1 litre tears)
cu
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